Transitions and Triggers
October is a month of transitioning.
The weather is changing. The seasons have shifted. The leaves are falling.
This is the time of the year when we can notice, how well we do with transitions, not only with these annual changes, but all change in our lives.
Change can be challenging and stressful, even when it is welcome.
Learning how to transition gracefully can be tricky, especially when the change may be unwanted or undesired.
The reason I am bringing up transitions, is that the reason change can be challenging, always comes back to one thing: fear. Fear of the unknown.
Fear is a tricky thing. It can be paralyzing or motivating.
One transition that can, and most likely will bring up that fear is our own evolutionary transition.
The transition from going through life completely unconscious of our own emotions, motivations and fears to a life of awareness, vitality and ownership.
When, for whatever reason we are put in a position of massive evolutionary growth, it is damn scary.
It is scary, because, as part of this process, the practice of looking in the mirror is mandatory. One cannot grow, unless they have opened the door, “Pandora’s Box” if you will, and looked deep inside, into the darkness of their soul, observed, accepted and embraced The Shadow.
Over the last three decades (yes, I have been doing this work that long!) I have come to ‘love’ Shadow Work. Call me crazy, but I know that it is only through leaning into The Shadow that I will be able to move forward in my growth and achieve the peace, ease and freedom I desire.
I am now at a place where I am comfortable introducing Shadow Work as part of my teachings.
The purpose of this BLOG is to ease our way into this very large topic, asking the questions:
- What is The Shadow?
- What is Shadow Work?
- How do I begin?
What is The Shadow?
We all have a shadow side. Our shadow is that part of ourselves that we do not want to look at because we perceive it to be ‘bad’, unattractive or painful. These are the qualities that we have pushed away, disowned, banished. These can be behaviors, thoughts, beliefs, or memories.
For most of us, the shadow is not only a large portion of who we are, but the primary piece that controls most of our thoughts, words and actions. It also determines the people and experiences in our lives. (That is scary, right?!?)
When we have not embraced our own shadow, we will naturally attract people and experiences into our lives that reflect our own shadow.
OUCH! “Does that mean, that there are qualities lying dormant in me that reflect back the mental and emotional abuse I endured for nearly ten years of my life?”
Unfortunately, the answer to that question, is yes. “FUCK!”
“How did that happen? That isn’t who I am? Or is it?” Confusion sets in…. the work begins.
What is Shadow Work?
The good news is, The Shadow has many different faces, and reveals itself many different ways.
The bad news is, The Shadow has many different faces, and reveals itself many different ways.
Shadow work is the process of turning inward, facing the shadow, becoming a “Shadow Stalker”. We wait quietly, diligently and patiently for those hidden aspects of ourselves to appear.
Asana practice, meditation and relationship all offer the perfect invitation for The Shadow to reveal itself.
It isn’t until we can integrate The Shadow into our lives, bring it to the light, that we can live in authenticity.
How do I begin?
Let’s take a look at certain people, events, words, even looks, that can “trigger” us, send us off the deep end.
Through my healing process, I have noticed myself blaming certain ‘triggers’ (a nasty call or text from my ex, someone NOT responding to a text I send or a message I left, etc). I blame others actions for my emotional re-action. THIS IS THE SHADOW.
More recently, when this happens, instead of blaming, I ask myself, “What am I feeling right now? And why am I feeling this way?” THIS IS THE WORK.
Shining a light on The Shadow. That part of me that is afraid of anger, judgement or rejection.
And then “Where does this come from?”
Triggers are what they are.
Triggers are illusions.
Triggers are a gift. Triggers activate The Shadow into showing itself.
Once this happens, the process of acknowledging, accepting and embracing can take place. The more light we can SHINE on our Shadow, the more we SHINE in our lives.
Next time you feel triggered, I invite you to use the questions above to begin your journey towards The Shadow. Become a Shadow Stalker. HEAL your wounds and EVOLVE into your authentic YOU!
I would love to hear your thoughts, experiences and concerns about your own Shadow Work.
If this has sparked an interest, but you are unsure, schedule a consultation with me, and we can get you on the path.